“Fear is a feeling, not a fact.”
I am not one who is often paralyzed by fear. I am not a perfectionist. I don’t feel like I need to have all my ducks in a row before I move forward.
I am however a compulsive do-er.
Often times we are so busy doing that it doesn’t leave any room for new opportunities to find us. We are simply too busy doing things we don’t really want to be doing anyway.
It doesn’t take much for my inner control freak to take over. I feel a compulsive need to “do” it all and if it is fun or easy, it doesn’t count so I have to do more. How messed up is that ?!?!
It Isn’t Supposed To Be This Hard
The truth is, that this need to do is fear based. Whether it is …
- A need to achieve
- A fear of failure
- Or filling your schedule so you don’t have to deal with the issues at hand
One way or another running the rat race is keeping us from the opportunities we really want.
I don’t like to let things flow. When left to my own devices, I am more concerned about making things happen than letting them happen. I like to put my blood, sweat and tears into getting sh*t done. Often times, the hard way.
This is neither healthy nor sustainable. There are a lot of reasons that people fill their plate too full, however the remedy is always the same. Create space for what you want !!
It is never the right time.
There is always something else that needs to be done. But by using all of your resources (time, energy, etc) on the wrong things you have no room for what you are actually trying to attract (new clients, the right clients, sanity, more life balance).
Letting go is scary.
- “what if … I miss out”
- “what if … it doesn’t work”
- “what if … I fail”
- or my personal favorite … “If I don’t do it, who will?”
The point is, letting go and letting things happen is scary. There is no safety net. No guarantee. What we don’t realize is that there isn’t a safety net or guarantee either way.
What I can promise is that if you are anything like me, one day (probably sooner than later) this compulsive doing will lead to burnout. We think we can do it all and in a lot of ways we have proven ourselves right. But at what cost?
Start small. Set boundaries. Start slowing down in a way that works for you.
You have to create the space. It is that simple. Resist the temptation to fill the space because it is uncomfortable. Like a long silence mid-conversation, the longer you sit with it the less uncomfortable it will be.