Sara Plummer Barnard {Women On A Mission}

Relationship Strategist. Writer. Health Coach.  

I first met Sara in a bathroom. She stopped me on my way out to tell me my tag was sticking out of my skirt. Which seems pretty basic except for two big reasons. 1. It is a clear of example of a woman having your back even though she doesn't know you. Even if that is as simple as a tag sticking out of your clothes. 2. I was about to get on stage for a pitch competition to a panel of VC judges as only one of three women in the competition.  

So this encounter left me feeling very supported and prepared. Which is pretty much the epitome of Sara - selfless, loving, helpful, and trying to make the world a better place.

In Her Own Words

Who I Am: An event planning, overly social, justice oriented, overstimulated, athletic, dance floor diva aiming for mental wellness and physical balance.

What I Do: I'm a Relationship and Wellness Coach providing a combination of holistic nutrition consulting. I aim to lower inflammation and get the body back into balance while addressing the psycho spiritual element of early trauma, early identity shapers that come into play while navigating both optimal health and successful dating in our modern culture pushing against primal brains. 

What I Believe: That we are here to accept and love ourselves, forgive ourselves and each other, and confront the negativity whispering lies in our ear that keep us from using our signature strengths that bring light to the world. We are here to feel good, to work hard, to be nice to ourselves, and to contribute.

The world gets out of balance when we make choices in fear, scrambling to survive, and justify taking more than we should in fear of not having enough in the future. We have the power to choose love, help, and heal.  

How I Got Here: A very unconventional combination of a conditionally loving, brilliant mentor, tiger dad (think Kill Bill training) who raised me as if I were his son and a charming, hardworking, beautiful, aesthetically focused mom that had me question what women were judged by in our species and if I wanted to limit myself to that.

I'm sure being raised in the 80s & 90s during a time of female empowerment helped shape what I thought I was capable of while watching Demi Moore take on Michael Douglas in the boardroom. The wellness aspect came in when I experienced internal and outside suffering and craved the formula for feel good. That led me to research and write about depression, nutrition effects, internal homeostasis, and to inspect our relationship dynamics affect on happiness.

Q&A With Sara

What is the lesson you wish you could go back and teach yourself? Live in Faith. The darknesses greatest power is to convince us their is no hope around the corner. It is always darkest and coldest right before dawn. I wish I realized this was a game a lot earlier and winning was being, enjoying, breathing, accepting, and showing up - not being perfect to justify your worth.

What advice would you give to someone who has a mission they want to start or pursue? Start where you are with what you have. Being told to just go for it may be overwhelming and scary and thus paralyzing for many. Set aside time that is manageable and just get started. Progress is progress and keeps us out of the shame cycle of avoidance. Listen to your heart's desire to create and start. 

If you have more resources and mentors, that may build faster. If you have less, don't worry, they're coming. Just keep moving. The universe unfolds as it should and wildly exciting advances are around every corner. Just keep believing and trusting. I really struggled with that in my 20s. You'll get so much done in small incremental steps.

Who or what has been the biggest catalyst/impact on who you’ve become? Of course there's a combination and although there are perhaps bigger influences, the ones that were the most positive is the one I'd like to focus on. 

I was fortunate to have a really graceful, strong woman as an accidental mentor. I nannied for her at 18 to help put myself through UCLA. She was so composed, thoughtful, well planned, hard working, but ego free. She had a consistency about her that was admirable and comfortable to be around. I remember being baffled by her ability to carry herself that way. I was in her home, seeing everything, and she was just lovely. That experience and the lovely maternal woman who introduced us and provided divine shelter during high school, are huge parts of my shaping as a whole woman rounded out from my early abandoned activist energy.

What is your message to the world/entrepreneurs/mothers/girls? Listen to your inner truth. If that looks like 4 kids and domestic service, wonderful. If that looks like running your own company, great. If you need to explore and travel and flow letting the world's mysteries unveil before you, go. 

It's ok to try on different identities, need different things at different times in life, and reject a standard narrative. Honor the truths born out of the combination of your culture, ancestors, country, gender, education, and trauma experiences.

There are no accidents and you have big things to do. And "big" may mean, learning to love yourself and slow down your pace. But I would caution, once you do decide on babies, aim to give them stability even if that means slowing or stopping some of your own dreams. You have the power in your hands to shape and build the next generation. Do so when you are ready and commit to it fully.

How do you handle the hard parts of marching to the beat of your own drum? I am fortunate to have attracted similarly unconventional people into my existence. I have a great tribe to check in with when I'm losing my way, don't feel good enough, or need to be reminded why this is my right path.

How do you start and end your day? I start my day with a huge glass of filtered water filled with amino acids, vitamins, and minerals. I look at my to-do list, stretch and breath for 5 minutes and either handle my calls from a 1 hr walk or hit the computer. Then I eat protein and Omega 3 fat (eggs, avocado, spinach) 2-3 hours later once my body has reset and is ready for fuel.

At night I work really hard to give myself credit for the ways I showed up that day and tell my insatiable task master mind that it will all get done and today was a good day. Then I write my next days schedule based on open slots and needs. I give things a time slot or they don't get done. I try not to schedule down to the minute and leave 30 minutes between activities to allow for wins. I crawl into bed with my husband who's usually in bed an hour before and I focus on what I have right now in front of me- comfy bed, wonderful man, healthy body.

What is your favorite book? I love Viktor Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning. But there are so so many.

What’s something that everyone loves/talks about but makes no sense to you? There are so many and I am not getting myself in trouble here. If they are genuinely passionate about it and it makes them happy, I am working on not questioning others' experiences or priorities. 

What part of your work do you enjoy the most? I enjoy helping people and feeling like I have the power to make a difference, influence. Giving someone the tools to heal their relationship or feed their body in a way that allows their brain to work or energy to flow is really empowering.

I love using language to paint a picture and bridge misunderstandings. I see patterns and overarching needs early and love effectively communicating that without being too honest or preemptively pushing the process before a client is ready to see.